May 21, 2009 - 04:30 AM
By Peter Slofstra
When things go wrong or someone gets hurt, our inclination is to call the police and pursue punishment. This course of action often results in a court process where lawyers and judges talk legalese while victims and offenders have little say.
Thankfully, school administrators and teachers are becoming aware of an alternative to this frustrating method of seeking justice: a restorative circle that includes the victim(s), the offender(s) and their supporters.
Led by a trained facilitator, these circles provide the opportunity to express emotions, acknowledge the harm that needs to be repaired, and hear a sincere apology. The whole group then decides what needs to be done to make things right.
Recently, I joined 18 educators and counselors at a Real Justice Training Conference in Bowmanville. We learned to calmly ask, "What happened?" rather than "Why did you?" or ""How could you!"
We learned to ask "What were you thinking of at the time?" and "What have you thought about since?"
We learned to ask, "Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way?"
We also learned to ask this crucial question: "What do you think you need to do to make things right."
In our younger days, many of us made mistakes and poor choices that could have limited our futures if the legal system had become involved. Everyone has reason to pray, "Remember not the sins of our youth!"
In my case, I was caught shoplifting. Thankfully, the security guard took pity on me as I handed back the Smarties I had stuffed in my pocket. He just warned me that he would call my parents if I set foot in his store again. Ironically, in one of the conference's Role Plays, I played the part of a student who had taken a pocket calculator and $20 from a teacher's desk. It was a role that came easily to me as the memories and feelings of the security guard's heavy hand on my shoulder came rushing back!
A restorative circle is possible where the offender has admitted to the offence and wants to make amends, even if the police have already been called.
If your child gets in trouble at school or becomes the victim of an assault or theft, request a restorative circle. It can restore the good will that was lost, repair the harm that was done, and safeguard someone's fragile future.
Peter Slofstra is a frequent contributor to this space and the cycling pastor of Hope Fellowship Church in Courtice.
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